| 原來很久沒碰過個 blog 了。
發生了一些事﹐近來尚算不錯。
若無閒事掛心頭，便是人間好時節。
"o' genki desu ka." "genki desu."
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| 想到寫點甚麼﹐想著想著﹐腦海中編排﹐起承轉合﹐成形了﹐但到要打出來時﹐
卻沒了興趣。
一定要改。
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| 看了破事兒﹐最近常常哼起 "再見 puppy love" 來。
看填詞人:卡龍。
竟是葉漢良﹐最近在看他的斗數本義....
這也是一種緣份罷。
忘掉你 誰能接受
如今放手 無言退後
仍得強裝 面貌鎮定
來避免 共抱頭痛哭難放手
(按: 葉漢良﹐ "舊中州派" 亭老先收的四十門人之一﹐近來出版兩本斗數書﹐
作老王講義補遺﹐一得也。)
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| 今年﹐他們來過。然後又離去。他們不知道自己做甚麼事。
今年﹐發覺離開原來如此容易。吻你，你視若無睹。愛你，你不為所動。
把世界拱手相讓，你卻毀掉所有。
今年﹐一切仿如隔世﹐只是個不痛不癢的故事片斷。也無關重要﹐原來只
是個熟識的陌生人。
今年﹐大家熟絡了。隔閡又深了。或者一開始不應該這樣﹐大家用薔薇鐵
線分隔﹐會是最好的歸宿。
今年﹐沒有一天過得快樂。狂歡地哼著歌，輕快地跳著舞﹐也只是把孤獨
和空洞的疼痛﹐充滿到支體的每一梢。過後如載入後的程式消除﹐歸於虛
無﹐僅此而已。
就這樣子。
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| Love is a wonderful, spirit-enhancing, and soul-uplifting thing.
The sad fact is, many people will never, ever
experience that. What they do receive, since when they were children, is a kind of love that is often
manipulative, controlling, domineering... or worse, twisted. But
since people, as children, love their parents naturally, even the ones that are
cruel and heartless - often they grow up to think that a punch in the
face from a jealous boyfriend is a prove of "he loves me."
One of the most crucial messages carried in Love, to me, is self-love. It took me years to understand this - but
learning to love one's self is still something that I cannot confidently say to have achieved so.
On the contrary we're often taught from an early age how to do the exact opposite, like we're too
thin, too fat, too short, too poor, the wrong place, the wrong time - you name it,
we're wrong.
And so we spend the rest of our lives looking for someone to "love" us.
To make up for the loss inside... because we hope that our desperate
longing for self-approval will be cured.
This is what I think where the dark side of Love comes in. Couples are chained to the Devil (or Darkness, or anything depending on your own spirituality) because they are
totally codependent on each other for self-esteem: instead of
feeling whole and complete, they have to find their "Another" to make them
feel total. Or becoming each other's "shadow". This is what often passes for love.
That's why as humans we are so prone to get caught in cycles of
recurring and damaging relationships - we are trying to heal those "false
nurturings" we received when we were young. Until one can honestly learn what love is, the same sequence will go through over and over again. |
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